mug appreciation post #datstachetho #salvadordali #teatime  (at The Limited Stores Design Office- NYC)

mug appreciation post #datstachetho #salvadordali #teatime (at The Limited Stores Design Office- NYC)

Monday, still doing it right. #pomegranatesarehardwork  #treatyoself #latergram #eatclean #traindirty #alldafruits #allforme

Monday, still doing it right. #pomegranatesarehardwork #treatyoself #latergram #eatclean #traindirty #alldafruits #allforme

14 Morning Rituals (That Seem A Little Out There) But Will Totally Change Your Life
Preparing the people in my life for my 7-day cleanse 
#getreadyyall
#andprobablydonttalktome
#JUSTKIDDING
#ithink

Preparing the people in my life for my 7-day cleanse
#getreadyyall
#andprobablydonttalktome
#JUSTKIDDING
#ithink

PSA

not drinking on a sunday so that I can still work out on a sunday is about as adult as I get

All women speak two languages:

the language of men 

and the language of silent suffering.

Some women speak a third, 

the language of queens.

PSA

I do this to myself every 4 weeks, yes, but the moments before a Brazilian are always the worst.

Yeah, I can’t feel my legs but at least I broke a milestone. This was my hardest session ever; three times I almost quit but still prevailed. Let’s just hope these legs of mine still work tomorrow.
As for now, I’m going to bed with the proudest smile on my face; always invest in yourself. 

#phonediedbefore1300
#stillbeastedittho

Yeah, I can’t feel my legs but at least I broke a milestone. This was my hardest session ever; three times I almost quit but still prevailed. Let’s just hope these legs of mine still work tomorrow.

As for now, I’m going to bed with the proudest smile on my face; always invest in yourself.

#phonediedbefore1300
#stillbeastedittho

amoebalanding:

Levon Helm 

amoebalanding:

Levon Helm 

(via seymourglass)

#kneeweakness:

When a boy says your name like he wants to keep it in his mouth.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
… for though we wish to live
utterly alive, within our skins,
there lives in us another yearning—
that whatever harmonic is awakened in us,
reverberate outwards,
through our voice, our step,
and outwards
and outwards.

Today, today.

Today has not been an easy day.

After getting a little twisted last night, I  had a burger for dinner which led way to 3 three pimples upon waking and hating life/my choices this morning. 

My weakness is that when I feel bad about myself, I can feed the feeling rather than stop it in it’s tracks. That does nothing for progress.

You cannot change any part of yourself overnight and this whole past year has been a lesson in self-love, that I will never graduate to my next level if I’m still cutting my own self down. 

So I’m learning.

In all my moments of negative, of glaring at the pimples on my chin, I’ve stopped myself - said my own mantra “delete, delete”- and forced a positive thought in my head.

In February, I came up with “delete, delete” by thinking of my brain as computer - if something isn’t working or fueling the progress, shut the program. I’d get half way through a belly-aching thought of him and “delete, delete” I’d be back on the phone with a client. It’s funny how often we can life hack ourselves if we try.

So I get home from work, still feeling the bloat in every inch of me (seriously, HOW did I used to eat the way I did??) and accept my neighbor’s invite for tea.

She puts a show on, I curl my feet up under my legs. I hear a song that could stiffen my spine from miles away - maybe the only song in the world where it actually feels like watching open surgery to listen to. I’ll get real basic here and admit that it’s the overplayed “Home” by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes. It makes me literally want to puke on shoes.

Then the show begins, some contrite rom-com def-to-be-cancelled about engagement and marriages and blah, blah, blah. I get up to leave after 4 minutes and 34 seconds. She asked me with that sad look in her eye if I was alright and I forgot, as I often do, that everyone knows my story, that my thoughts in moments like that are no longer private. But I smile and point out that I’ve really just got to get a move on - tasks to complete. It’s true but what I’m really doing is using my backbone to say “delete, delete.” This is something I would have never done before, something I’m proud of myself for doing. I’m also just not giving my time to a shitty show - that’s not something I ever do anymore either. 

And I’m not damaged goods - I just hate that song. For example, I almost decided to be Angelina Jolie for Halloween because it would be so easy to draw on a veil and call it a night but then a friend pointed out how people might view that - me in a wedding dress, post calling off a wedding. I laughed so hard because I didn’t even realize it, I don’t think of myself with that byline attached. Other people can look at my lips and only see them with his; I see them with every boy I’ve ever kissed and he’s just one of them.

So even on the hard days, I’m learning to refuse to let my positivity go. It’s like a bridge I’m always reminding myself to re-cross when I need to. I know people say this all the time but it takes going through the roughest patches to realize how right they are - every. thought. is. a. CHOICE. Make the right choice. For you, especially. Use your positivity as your strongest tool and most necessary device.

So now, while still fighting the urge to glare at my pimples, I’m going to finish my celery/carrots and hummus then I’m going to wash my dishes, clean my room, walk the dog, and kill myself in the gym.

I know exactly how I’ll feel after that.

Always go towards that feeling.

xo

C

"I dwell in possibility." - Emily Dickinson

SW: 299

248 (2/11/2013)

CW:169